How To Talk to Your Child About a Cancer Diagnosis

Learning that your child has cancer is overwhelming, and talking to them about it can feel just as difficult.

But experts stress that open and honest communication is key to helping children cope with their diagnosis and treatment.

It may feel natural to shield your child from difficult news, but withholding information can create confusion and fear.

Children are highly perceptive and will likely sense that something is wrong.

Being upfront from the start helps build trust and allows them to feel included in their care.

"The most important rule is never to lie or conceal a diagnosis," experts say.

How to explain cancer to your child

The way you talk about cancer should depend on your child’s age and developmental level.

Use simple words like “sick” but don’t avoid saying “cancer” or the specific type of tumor they have.
Explain where the cancer is and how doctors will treat it.
Reassure them that they did nothing to cause the cancer -- even if they don’t ask.
Tell them medical tests may seem scary, but a parent will be there whenever possible.
Use simple words to describe treatments. Instead of “chemotherapy,” say “medicine to get rid of the cancer.”
If they need to stay in the hospital, remind them it’s temporary and they will come home soon.
Explain that cancer is not contagious.
Be honest about treatments and potential pain but reassure them that doctors will try to make it as comfortable as possible.
Encourage them to ask questions and let them know it’s OK to talk about their feelings
Be aware that they may hear information from friends. Let them know they can come to you or their doctors for the right information.
Teens may have many questions and want a more detailed explanation of their diagnosis and treatment.
Their biggest concerns may focus on how treatment will affect their daily life -- including school, sports, friendships and physical appearance.
Be honest about hair loss, weight changes or other side effects so they know what to expect.
Encourage them to find trusted sources for information rather than searching online themselves.
Help them feel involved in their treatment plan by including them in discussions.

Guiding productive conversations

Pick the right time and place to have the conversation.
Start by asking what they know (if age-appropriate).
Consider your child’s personality -- some may need more time to process the news.
Write down what you want to say and practice in advance.
Use a calm and reassuring voice and be mindful of body language.
Have another person present, like a family member or a healthcare provider.
Encourage questions and allow time for honest answers.
Share your own feelings and let your child know it’s OK to share theirs.
Try to maintain a routine to create a sense of normalcy.
Give them choices whenever possible.
Set behavior expectations -- it's OK to cry or be scared, but caregivers need cooperation for safe treatment.
Reassure them that cancer is not their fault.
Help them stay connected to friends and family through visits, video calls or letters.
Seek support for both you and your child.